ᐉ Coming to matchmakers. Giving gifts, what to give for matchmaking. Completion of the official part

“There is no romanticism! No, decorously, nobly, in the old way!” — the hero of Zoshchenko’s comedy “Wedding” lamented. Our contemporaries will agree with him. Therefore, both young people and parents will remember half-forgotten traditions. For example, matchmaking. What could be more romantic than asking your loved one's hand in marriage from her family? The girl will feel especially desired. The young man will play the role of a good fellow who is wooing his chosen one.

There is another reason to send matchmakers (usually these are the groom's parents, close relatives and friends). A wedding is a union not only of two hearts, but also of two families. One family will have a son, another a daughter. The old ritual will help future “relatives” get to know each other better.

Now there are no clear rules for matchmakers. After the phrase “You have a product, we have a merchant,” there can be comic tasks for the newlyweds (the bride must name the ingredients for borscht, the groom must hammer in a crooked nail), congratulations in verse. One thing remains unchanged - gifts. How to please your future wife or husband? And their parents?

Let's see what we can present to the owners of the house or guests

The pillow is a gift from the groom's family

What it is?

Matchmaking is an important tradition, which consists in the fact that the groom’s parents send relatives, friends, or come themselves to the house of a potential bride and ask her father and mother for her hand in marriage. The custom is very touching; it shows the real attitude of a young man towards a girl, because not everyone will dare to go with the whole family to visit their beloved’s parents to ask them to give up their daughter. Paying tribute to matchmaking, the guy immediately rises in the eyes of his future father-in-law and mother-in-law.

One of the main reasons to send matchmakers is to obtain permission to unite not only two loving hearts, but also two families, which from now on become family to each other. Previously, the ritual was performed strictly according to the rules. Guests were greeted and escorted into the hall, where there was a table with refreshments. The conversation was exclusively between the parents. As a kind of payment, both parties exchanged gold coins, which indicated a positive decision.

Now there are no such requirements. As a rule, matchmaking is very fun, because the young people have known each other for a long time. They adhere to only one formality: the groom’s side asks permission from the girl’s relatives, and after receiving consent, jokes, a feast and congratulations with gifts begin.

Festive feast

Every matchmaking requires a festive and varied table. Family specialties should be prepared. The table should be as varied as possible - salads, appetizers, main courses, cold cuts, fruits and desserts. Alcoholic drinks should also be for every taste - after all, it is not known what the guests who come to get married like to drink.

However, you should not abuse alcohol - the main thing is that the atmosphere in the house is welcoming and friendly. During the feast, the bride's parents should praise their daughter and talk about her talents, but even here a measure is necessary, otherwise it will look like banal boasting.

It is worth paying attention to the table setting - everything should be festive and neat. The finest tableware, exquisite napkins and fresh flowers

Serving dishes and changing dishes falls entirely on the shoulders of the bride, which will certainly be another manifestation of her thriftiness and hospitality.

Gifts for the bride

First of all, you should purchase beautiful bouquets for the bride, her mother and older married sister.

It is advisable to find out women’s favorite flowers in advance in order to gain the approval of the receiving party. If it was not possible to get information, you can present traditional types (for the bride - red or white roses, and for mother and sister - chrysanthemums, peonies or lilies).

If you have a younger family member, you need to pay attention to him by giving him daisies or chocolates. No matter how old the child is, he should also receive a small present.

Perhaps the most important gift will be the engagement ring, which the bride does not remove until the wedding. During the ceremony it is replaced with a wedding one. The decoration is a medium-width gold band with one stone. The price depends on the capabilities. Additionally, you can gift your loved one with a beautiful watch or a gold pendant with a chain.

The mother-in-law should also give her future daughter gifts of gold. Usually they give a chain, pendant, earrings or bracelet. A manifestation of the greatest respect and trust will be a diamond piece of jewelry that is passed down from generation to generation. You can also give perfume, a bag, a beautiful shawl or cosmetics. In some nations, it is customary to give the bride a lot of clothes, shoes and accessories so that she enters the groom’s house in everything new. The same applies to the bride's parents in relation to the son-in-law.

An important attribute of matchmaking is a loaf or a large beautiful cake , symbolizing the future sweet life of the newlyweds. It is carried into the house on a large, beautifully embroidered towel. When the pie is placed on the table, the girl must divide it into pieces and serve it to each guest. You can bake a loaf yourself or buy it in a store. The same applies to the towel. They decorate it with bright inscriptions, hearts, intertwined rings, swans and other symbols of love and fidelity. The embroidered names of the young people look very beautiful.

Matchmaking scenario

A correctly drawn up script guarantees a successful celebration and will bring a lot of pleasant emotions, which is why it is so important to pay attention to it. Here are the main stages of the event:

The matchmakers arrive at the bride's house. They are greeted with songs and ditties.
Relatives get to know each other. The groom gives the gifts he brought and treats his betrothed's parents to a loaf of bread.
After introductions, guests are invited to a set table.
The bride comes out to the guests, whose parents describe her positive qualities, praising their daughter in every possible way.
At this stage, it is customary for the groom to confess his feelings to the bride and give her a ring.
If the bride's parents agree to the marriage, then the matchmaking can be completed with fireworks and dancing.

Gifts for parents of the bride

It is customary to give future relatives practical gifts for the home. Every housewife will appreciate a beautiful painting, an embroidered tablecloth, a clock or a floor lamp. You can consult with your beloved and find out the preferences of her parents. In any case, the gift should not be too personal. Even if your father loves fishing, you should not bring him a fishing rod or fishing attachments, no matter how expensive they are. Save this for your birthday.

It will be good to bring food into the house for a feast. Wine, whiskey, fruits, sweets are placed in a large basket, all this is beautifully decorated and brought into the bride’s house. Of course, the table will already be set there, but such a sign of attention will not be superfluous.

Father-in-law

Like all unfamiliar men, the father-in-law is usually given good alcohol, cigars, stylish accessories, etc.

However, if you know your father-in-law well and know his hobbies, go for it! Perhaps he just needs a new spinning rod or some tricky tool.

What to give your mother-in-law?

Previously, girls did not always know when they would come to match them, so there were no gifts in return. More cunning young ladies prepared gifts in advance for the father-in-law, mother-in-law, sisters-in-law and brothers of the groom. Nowadays it is much easier for the fair sex; they have enough time to prepare for the arrival of matchmakers. It is best to consult with the groom ahead of time and find out the preferences of his parents. Anyone is pleased to receive something they like, but you can also give neutral gifts.

Why can't you give amber?

It is believed that amber should not be given to people who identify themselves as Leo and Capricorn, as it supposedly can deprive them of vital energy. ... Therefore, if you want to surprise with your gift, do not bypass amber.

Interesting materials:

What does SBOL Moscow mean? What does measure twice, cut once mean? What does Septum mean for men? What does a heart with two fingers mean? What does heart emoji mean? What does a heart mean in WhatsApp? What does the green heart mean? What does an earring in a man's right ear mean? What does an earring in the shape of a cross mean? What does Samsung TV Series mean?

Other guests

Often, not only relatives, but also close friends of the future groom act as matchmakers. Custom does not dictate any rules for them, but still everyone will be pleased to receive a small present. You can give such guests small souvenirs in the form of decorative figurines or small sets of sweets.

Friends should not come to the house empty-handed. The owner of the house should be given a box of chocolates, and the bride something for the home. Kitchen utensils, towels, and bed linen are perfect. You can distinguish yourself and give a comic gift. For example, it could be a beautifully packaged rolling pin with the inscription “for being late”; at the same time, you can check whether your friend’s future wife has a sense of humor.

You can learn about gifts that are suitable for a woman at any age from the video below.

The use of any materials without our prior written consent is prohibited.

What salads to prepare for a wedding

Salads are especially popular on the holiday table. Cooking them at home is a very important task, because any mistake you make can overshadow the guests' feast. You have a huge choice. There are so many tempting salads in cooking : summer and winter, spicy and sweet, puff pastry and cheese, meat and vegetarian, mushroom and seafood. We bring to your attention recipes for wedding salads that will decorate the table on such a day.

Puff “Wedding Waltz”

Prepare four layers. Each is covered with mayonnaise sauce:

Layer in the form of boiled chopped chicken, garlic, nuts.
Mushrooms fried with onions.
Protein.
Cheese (you can grate it).

Photo of lettuce wedding ring

Grated carrots and potatoes, pickled mushrooms, boiled meat, onions, eggs. Interlayers:

potatoes (3 pcs.);
mushrooms (1 jar);
onion (1 pc.);
meat (400 g);
carrots (300 g);
eggs (4 pcs.);
a jar of corn - to decorate the dish.

Matchmaking: what to give?

By marrying a girl, a man enters into a relationship not only with her, but also with her environment, the most important part of which is her family. Therefore, in almost all wedding traditions there is a matchmaking ritual. What it is?

This is an ancient ritual during which the groom asks the girl’s hand in marriage from her parents. Now this is mostly a formality, but earlier, during matchmaking, the fate of the marriage was determined - the girl’s parents carefully assessed the potential son-in-law, accepted generous gifts from him, and even then decided whether to give their daughter to him.

However, the groom did not necessarily have to make the match himself - sometimes this role was performed by the so-called matchmakers, and during the ceremony he stood quietly on the sidelines. Matchmakers were relatives or friends of the groom, who served as a kind of “delegation” to him.

If we ignore the numerous customs associated with the ceremony, it looked quite simple: the groom arrived in his best clothes with two bouquets. One of them was given to the betrothed, and the second to her mother.

After that, he solemnly asked the girl’s parents for their daughter’s hand in marriage. If they agreed, the father joined the hands of the future newlyweds - this was a kind of consent to the wedding. However, the decision could directly depend on the gifts given earlier.

These were quite generous gifts, which were usually presented in poetic form and contained various humorous jokes.

Of course, now this ritual is just a funny formality and a tribute to tradition, but the custom of giving gifts for matchmaking has still been preserved. What gifts are given for matchmaking?

To the groom

The man himself usually received a loaf from his parents' side. However, now the interpretation of a loaf is often a custom-made cake.

Other surprises that the betrothed usually receives include alcohol, modern gadgets, business accessories and desk sets.

For the bride

First of all, the bride received a bouquet - you can attach a box of her favorite chocolates or a basket of fruit to it.

Another gift was a ring that was ceremonially placed on the finger. When choosing a ring, pay attention to the jewelry that the woman is already wearing.

The bride receives a gold chain from her future mother-in-law - this is a traditional option, but you may well choose something else.

The custom of passing on a family heirloom is also often practiced - it could be an old icon, jewelry, or even an embroidered towel.

The rest of the participants in the process also present the woman with small, memorable items. These can be various souvenir figurines, flowers in pots, sweets and much more.

The mother-in-law also received a bouquet, but the tradition does not provide for other gifts. However, if you want to prepare the ground for a good relationship with the mother of your future wife in advance, you should not limit yourself to just a bouquet. Sweets, decorations or fruit baskets will be a great addition to the flowers.

Matchmaker

In the Slavic tradition, it was not customary to give anything to matchmakers - usually their arrival was a complete surprise for both the girl herself and her family. But among some other peoples (for example, the Tatars) they received various symbolic gifts.

Nowadays, traditions are not so important, so it’s still worth making people happy. The easiest way to do this is with small, cool souvenirs. The most popular ideas are trinkets, alcohol, sweets and flowers.

Such gifts do not have to be expensive, but originality, as they say, is a must have - all things should carry a piece of soulfulness and creativity.

We hope that our tips will be useful to you, and that your matchmaking will end in a fun wedding!

Gift for two: matchmaker and matchmaker

Custom requires gifting the matchmakers for matchmaking. When the future groom and his parents arrive at the bride’s house, they usually bring flowers, sweets, wine or champagne, and delicacies with them. At the first meeting, a box of expensive chocolates and a bottle of cognac or wine look quite good as a present.

But still, a win-win gift option for matchmakers for dating would be bed linen or a bath set, dishes or kitchen utensils. Why? These gifts are intended for both matchmakers, and in addition, they are always necessary in everyday life.

For those who like to be original, when meeting, you can offer the spouses a large family portrait (possibly with the children and you). Firstly, such a gift is memorable, and secondly, unique.

A photo album in the form of a fairy tale with the main characters “matchmaker” and “matchmaker” will definitely not leave anyone indifferent.

At a wedding, all attention is paid to the young people, but parents should not be forgotten either. Souvenir items such as vases, figurines, antiques, and sets will also delight matchmakers.

However, in this situation it is necessary to have a certain taste and at least know a little about the preferences of matchmakers. The issue of cost is also important. Real souvenir products have a corresponding price.

An excellent gift, of course, is one that is made with your own hands. Let it be a down scarf, a wooden box, a blanket, beadwork, a painting, etc. (show your talents).

If you captivate those around you with your culinary skills, then you can bring a freshly baked pie, cookies or pilaf to your matchmakers’ house for the New Year.

Not for words

Today everything happens much simpler. The groom does not need to appear at the bride's house several times to please her relatives. And the bride herself does not mind getting married faster, so most of these customs are omitted.

But so that at the crucial moment of matchmaking, the parents and guests on the bride’s side do not figure out what to say, it is advisable to write a script in advance and distribute the words to everyone. As an example, you can take this option:

After the matchmakers have described all the advantages of the groom and made their opening speech, the floor passes to the bride's matchmaker or presenter.

Presenter: Wait, wait, where are you rushing? Do you know for sure that everything is agreed upon? After all, today’s youth are unpredictable: they will say “yes”, but tomorrow they will change their mind and answer “no”. You see, our girl doesn’t want to go out. Maybe let the groom try to call her?

A young man calls out to his beloved at the top of his voice. But instead of her, a friend comes into the room - all decorated, with a hairstyle and in a short skirt. He sits down on a chair and crosses his legs.

Presenter: Here, dear, is your bride. Just look how fashionable and bright she is, you can see such a beauty a hundred kilometers away, but you won’t let her go anywhere. She has no end to suitors, but you see, she chose you.

The young man replies that this is not his bride.

Individual gift for matchmaker

If you want to please one of your matchmakers with a gift (for a birthday, for example), it’s good to stick to eau de toilette. Here you need to know the name of your preferred perfume or give classic options.

If you decide on this gift, let it be expensive high-quality perfume, since presenting cheap brands is unpresentable. The matchmaker will be happy with expensive, high-quality cookware if she likes to cook. A beautiful, exquisite tea set or set of pots will definitely please the hostess.

The “Umbrella” tea set can be given as a gift with the words: “The main thing is the weather in the house. »

If you are planning a birthday, a useful gift would be household appliances: a multicooker, a coffee machine, a vacuum cleaner (depending on the budget). It’s better to first ask what exactly a person needs.

Perhaps the birthday girl has long dreamed of purchasing a vegetable cutter, but cannot afford it. Then have no doubt: she will be incredibly happy about your gift and every time you use it, she will remember her matchmaker with a kind word.

Time becomes more valuable than money if there is a photo of loved ones on the watch. In the online store you can order a “My World” watch with any photo of you.

It's no secret that women love to take care of themselves and look good. Therefore, an excellent solution to please her would be a set of cosmetics or a gift certificate to a cosmetic store, where the woman herself will choose cosmetics to her taste. Or you can give a certificate to a beauty salon, spa, etc.

As for wardrobe items, it is better not to waste time on this, because choosing clothes for a woman is very difficult. It's better to take a closer look at the accessories:

umbrella,
clutch,
scarf.

It is appropriate to buy jewelry if the matchmaker wears it. If finances allow, let it be a gold item or expensive, exquisite jewelry.

Bottom line

There are many touching moments at a wedding. One of them is the newlyweds saying words of gratitude to their parents and presenting them with a gift. Depending on their financial capabilities, couples prepare expensive or modest gifts.

Despite their cost, parents value attention, sincerity and care. Therefore, approach the choice of gifts seriously and deal with them in advance in order to take into account as much as possible the interests and desires of your closest and dearest people.

We wish you the wedding of your dreams!

Present for a new male relative

With men everything is much simpler. Firstly, you can inadvertently find out what the matchmaker needs and purchase this thing (to the extent possible). There is no way to know what he would prefer to receive; give a gift based on his hobbies. If you like to read, buy a good book in an expensive binding; if you are an avid fisherman, buy a super new fishing rod or a winter tent.

A housekeeping man will always need a construction set, a drill, and a screwdriver. A successful businessman and office worker will be pleased to receive a branded pen , globe or other office trinket. A navigator or car wash is suitable for the car enthusiast.

Whatever gift you choose, the main thing is that it comes from a pure heart. After all, you are now one big and friendly family. And you go through life together, accompanying your children.

Have a nice journey through life! Please do not forget to subscribe to updates on our blog and suggest it to your friends and family. I will be glad if I could help you in any way.

Best regards, Natalya Krasnova.

Dear readers! My website contains pictures found on the Internet. If you are the copyright holder of the content, write to the administrator (contacts in the site header), and I will delete the photo or leave a link to your resource. Thanks for understanding!

Equipment and gadgets

Household appliances and various gadgets will bring comfort and convenience to the life of the daughter-in-law.

Universal robot vacuum cleaner . A great gift that will keep your home perfectly clean and will make the cleaning process much easier.
New smartphone . If the daughter-in-law is a young active woman who constantly uses a smartphone in her daily and professional life, then the new advanced model will certainly please her.
Fitness bracelet or smart watch . A necessary gadget for a girl who plays sports. Modern fitness bracelets are a stylish multifunctional gadget that allows you to receive incoming calls and mail, as well as improve the effectiveness of your workouts. The “smart” gadget will allow you to monitor the number of calories burned, steps taken, pulse, body temperature, and training intensity.
Smart sensor for growing flowers . If your daughter-in-law is interested in growing flowers, then she will definitely love the sensor, which simplifies the process of caring for plants. Such sensors measure soil moisture, determine air temperature, and whether the plant receives enough light.

As for traditional household appliances, the options are varied:

Multifunctional harvester . This is a technique that will always come in handy. Modern food processors cut, beat, knead dough, and cook, significantly facilitating the process of cooking.
Air purifier-ionizer . The device will help create a healthy microclimate in your living space, destroying unpleasant odors, mold spores and microbes.
Steamer . A good steamer is the best way to cook healthy food.
Coffee machine . If your daughter-in-law loves coffee, then she will definitely need a coffee machine that will allow her to brew different types of coffee, cappuccino, and milk drinks.

Household appliances for the kitchen are a good gift idea

What the groom gives as a matchmaking gift: features of the ceremony

Nowadays it is surprising that it is possible to hold wedding celebrations in any style. The bride and groom independently decide how their celebration will take place. If a young lady wants to feel like a tender and vulnerable princess, then you can use an old Russian custom, namely matchmaking.

This is a unique ritual, deeply symbolic and interesting in its reproduction. Young people can choose either a completely thematic ceremony or a slightly stylized version. You will have to decide for yourself which method you should choose. In any case, it is worth knowing about what matchmaking is, what gifts are given for matchmaking and how to organize it correctly.

Surprise

“She keeps a lot of family heirlooms and antiques, so I assumed that she would give me some kind of brooch, hair clip, ring or something like that,” the woman writes. But that was not the case.

She continues: “It turned out to be handmade underwear. My mother-in-law once sewed it herself. And she told me to wear it on my wedding night. She then started making jokes about fertility and how she got pregnant immediately after getting married. Isn't this strange?

At the end of the post, the daughter-in-law added that her husband even shuddered when he learned about this. Of course…

How did the matchmaking ceremony take place before?

Initially, it was accepted that children did not independently decide who they wanted to marry. The young man came to his parents and said that he would like to have a family. It happened that parents made such a decision on their own.

The second step is choosing a bride for your son. A young man can also help with this by suggesting which candidates he would like to consider. Parents try to find out as much as possible not only about the bride herself, but also about her family.

The next stage is a meeting with the matchmakers. Those who know how to conduct a competent dialogue and can positively characterize the groom are selected. In Rus' previously there were special matchmakers who fulfilled similar goals.

At the same time, it is not at all necessary that they be the groom’s closest relatives. They were also joined by the youth’s older brothers or cousins. This composition was sent to the young bride.

The bride's parents listened to all the positive traits that the groom had. If the girl’s mom and dad decided to bless the couple, then they asked the daughter to appear and show herself. At this time, the matchmakers had to show themselves, appreciating the beauty of the beautiful bride.

As soon as a positive decision was made, the bride’s parents did not talk about it directly. They only needed to invite the groom and his parents to visit the next day.

This meant that the bride had been matched, and at the meeting of the parents there would be a discussion of the wedding itself and the future life of the newlyweds. In fact, during the times of Ancient Rus', parents decided absolutely everything for their children. Despite their age, the children were only unwitting witnesses who unquestioningly carried out everything that their older relatives punished them.

Of course, if a girl or boy had a trusting relationship with mom and dad, then they could tell them about their preferences. Often parents had an agreement from the very birth of their children. This was considered a very convenient option, since the future son-in-law is growing up before our eyes, and the children are initially familiar with each other’s families and are determined to live together.

How to choose a cake

The feast ends with tea when all agreements have been reached and you can simply enjoy a cup of coffee or tea with a slice of delicious cake.

It would be great if the baked goods were homemade. For example, a future mother-in-law will decide to pamper everyone with her signature homemade cake, the recipe for which she will then pass on to her daughter so that she can also treat her family to a delicious dessert.

Of course, it is advisable to decorate the cake according to the theme of the event.

A great idea would be to draw wedding rings on its surface using yellow or golden cream, or two hearts in pink and write: “I’ll give my daughter in good hands for marriage!” If the groom brings the cake, then there are also many options for making a sweet gift with a “twist”. For example, on the top cake you can write the same question: “Will you marry me?”, and two words: “Yes” and “No”.

Here you will see how you can propose marriage using a cake:

When planning to propose marriage, the future spouse can show imagination and approach this process creatively. By ordering an original confectionery masterpiece for matchmaking that contains a pressing question, you don’t have to be afraid of getting rejected. After all, such an extravagant way to woo a bride absolutely deserves the answer “YES!” I wonder, if they came to you with such a cake, what would the answer be?

Matchmaking of a beautiful bride is an ancient tradition that has undergone many changes, but is still common among Russian newlyweds today. Couples who honor the customs of their ancestors try to conduct this ceremony as traditionally as possible. The wedding portal website is confident that if you know how to match a bride and follow simple rules, the matchmaking ritual will allow you not only to get to know the bride’s parents well, but also to charge your relatives with a positive mood before an important celebration.

What gifts are they giving now?

At all times, it was not customary to come empty-handed. The bride and groom had to prepare pleasant surprises for each other.

Initially, the man came with flowers, in his hands there were two bouquets at once, one of which he handed to the bride’s mother, the second to the girl herself.

Bride and groom to each other

The young man is always the first to give gifts. The man, after presenting the bouquets, moved on to the main part. It was considered a marriage proposal. For this, the young man prepared a beautiful piece of jewelry.

Currently, this is a ring indicating that the girl is engaged. Previously, earrings were used. It was believed that a girl should wear her earrings to a wedding. In addition, this piece of jewelry was a symbol that the young girl was busy.

Nowadays, absolutely any product can be a gift from the groom to the bride. Wealthier men are able to give their women cars. Therefore, you should not limit yourself to just jewelry. The main purpose of the gift is to show the boys that the girl is busy.

It was much easier for the girl to give a gift, since she had to make it with her own hands. Previously, such a quality as thrift was highly valued. The main gifts were shirts, a beautiful picture of knitting, and a hand-embroidered handkerchief.

The girl did all this herself, thereby showing how creative and at the same time skillful she is. Nowadays no one will demand a handmade product from a girl. That's why women give their boyfriends perfume, cufflinks, ties and other accessories.

A matchmaking gift should not be too bulky or expensive. However, it is rather symbolic in nature. By exchanging gifts with each other, the boy and girl share positive emotions, thereby showing the depth of their feelings.

Money

According to ancient tradition, on the day of the engagement, the parents of the future newlyweds negotiated about the wedding and upcoming expenses. In Rus', the size of the bride's dowry was agreed upon in advance, and in some countries the father and mother of the groom gave potential matchmakers several envelopes containing gifts and money. The bride's parents, in turn, responded with an amount approximately equal to what was in one of the envelopes.

If you doubt whether money is given for engagement or not, then know that there is a belief. Newlyweds will never be in need if they keep at least one bill given to them on their engagement day. The money is placed in the family purse with the words: “This gift is more valuable than any other, and it will go forward to bring prosperity not for one day, but for many years.” You cannot spend the banknote under any circumstances.

Money is also a good engagement gift because with its help the bride and groom will be able to choose and buy for themselves what they really need and like. By adding up all the funds presented by guests, lovers can collect a significant amount in order to:

buy something expensive for your home;
pay partial expenses for the upcoming wedding celebration;
buy the romantic trip you dreamed of (and not the one you have enough money for after organizing the wedding).

Advice! Sometimes those invited present money in an original way and create a special tree on which they hang envelopes with cash or checks. In this case, the amounts are not announced.

When deciding to give money, you can also stand out with originality by presenting commemorative silver or gold coins . They are sold at any bank.

If for some reason the invited person cannot come to the engagement, then he sends a bouquet of flowers by courier with his business card or a postcard with best wishes. In turn, the guy and girl must thank such a donor by phone or by return postcard.

Matchmaking in the old days

In the old days, having chosen a suitable candidate for the role of the bride, they always received the approval of the relatives of the groom's family. Then a person was chosen to act as matchmaker.

Often they were engaged in the actual search for a suitable bride. The matchmaker also monitored the observance of customs and the correct conduct of the ceremony itself. Initially, a matchmaker always went to the house of a girl of marriageable age. There was no need for the presence of the groom, but it was not strictly forbidden. If he was given freedom of choice, if he wanted, he could go to the parents of his chosen one and ask for her hand. Arriving at the house where the chosen girl lived, the matchmaker began the conversation from afar, without touching on the main topic. They talked about the weather, the harvest, and mowing. The main negotiations also proceeded in an allegorical form.

example: “You have a wonderful garden, and we have a good gardener, maybe he will look after your garden?”
The parents of the girl of marriageable age expressed gratitude to the matchmaker for the honor shown to them and gave them kvass or honey, which the girl herself poured and brought to the guest. At the same time, the matchmaker had to take a good look at her. After which he began to praise the groom and ask about the bride. If the groom was not satisfied, then the refusal also sounded allegorical: “Our garden has not yet ripened”, “Our goods are unsaleable”, or they were stipulated by an insufficient dowry, general employment. If there were any doubts, the matchmaker was invited a second time in order to obtain additional information about the groom within the given period of time. The next time, the groom's parents went to matchmaking, often with him himself, as well as other matchmakers. This matchmaking was considered official. A feast was organized and, with the consent of all parties to the marriage, an analogy of a modern marriage contract was drawn up - a “row entry”, which covered the main organizational and financial issues of the upcoming wedding, including the bride’s dowry. After settling all the issues, the bride gave the chosen one a deposit, which was a simple scarf. They wrapped the edge of a loaf in it and gave it to the matchmaker. He carried her in a high hand through the entire village, which indicated a successful outcome of the matchmaking.

Traditions and signs of matchmaking

Special attention has always been paid to traditions and signs during matchmaking, and few people previously dared to break the laws established by their ancestors. And even today, many pay tribute to the superstitions and customs of their ancestors:

The best day for matchmaking was considered October 14 (the Feast of the Intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary), also the most favorable dates were 3, 5, 7 and 9, days of the week - Tuesday, Thursday or weekends.

Never got married on the 13th, it is unlucky for carrying out any business.

On the way to the girl’s house, the people participating in the ritual remained silent and left the house only after sunset in order to avoid the evil eye.

All information regarding the ritual was hidden from strangers, fearing their unclean thoughts.

When the matchmaker was about to go to the girl’s parents, they threw bast shoes at his back.

Having reached the house of the girl of marriageable age, the matchmaker tried to get into the hut as quickly as possible, so that the matter would be resolved just as quickly.

Matchmaking negotiations were conducted while standing, as if on the move, so that the marriage would be quick.

The groom handed over the betrothed loaf.

If consent to marriage has been obtained, then:

the father had to place his daughter's hand in the hand of her betrothed;

the girl accepted the loaf from the guy, cut it into pieces together with the groom and treated those present;

any joint feast meant an early engagement.

If matchmaking failed, then this could be marked by the following actions:

the bride hid and took off her outfit;

the girl expressed her refusal by giving the groom a watermelon (pumpkin);

if the groom did not like the bride, he brought it to his mouth, but did not drink from the glass presented to him;

if refused, the loaf was returned to the groom whole;

If the matchmakers refused, they could harm the bride - they closed the door to her house with their backs, thereby dooming the girl to an unmarried life.